JAE.CI: Unveiling the Raw Truth in Debut Single “American Doll”
Prepare to be captivated, challenged, and ultimately moved by the arrival of JAE.CI., the compelling new moniker of artist Jillian “Jae” Carelli. With a rich tapestry of musical experience woven from classical soprano training and proficiency across piano, organ, flute, and harp, JAE.CI emerges as a singular voice, fearlessly bridging the often-rigid divide between classical precision and contemporary resonance. More than just a performer, JAE.CI is a music director, educator, and a fierce advocate, channeling their multifaceted background into empowering those silenced by societal stigmas to discover and unleash their own authentic voices.
Now, JAE.CI steps into the spotlight with their debut single, the powerfully evocative “American Doll.” This isn’t mere music; it’s a visceral exploration, the title track from a larger body of work poised to dissect the seven core wounds often experienced in adoption: rejection/abandonment, loss/grief, trust, loyalty, identity, shame/guilt, and control/mastery. “American Doll” plunges directly into the complex terrain of control and mastery, drawing from Jae’s own deeply personal journey as a Korean adoptee navigating a controlling adoptive family.
The single bravely unveils the subsequent struggle with substance abuse as a desperate attempt to regain control amidst internal turmoil. With unflinching honesty, JAE.CI illuminates the objectification inherent in the international adoption industry, where adopted children are too often treated as commodities, starkly echoing the New York Times’ chilling description of Korean adoptees being “shipped like luggage.”
Adding a layer of profound and unsettling commentary, “American Doll” intricately weaves in the familiar melody of the children’s hymn, “He’s got the whole world in His Hands.” This seemingly innocent inclusion serves as a potent critique of the evangelical Christian narratives that can inadvertently enable the adoption industry, forcing listeners to confront the uncomfortable question: who truly holds the reins?
Jae’s personal narrative is interwoven into the very fabric of the song. “Substance abuse was a way for me to control my emotions,” Jae reveals, drawing a poignant parallel between the controlling dynamics of their upbringing and the desperate attempts to manage the chaos within. This connection finds a tangible anchor in the figure of “Molly,” the American Girl doll who offered a semblance of representation with her glasses and long brown braids. The physical manifestations of anxiety – teeth grinding and tongue biting, a lifelong struggle to silence oneself out of fear – were tragically exacerbated by substance abuse, culminating in a harrowing incident of self-inflicted injury. The very means by which Jae sought control ultimately mirrored the silencing effect of the “white savior complex” narrative that often overshadows the adoptee experience.
Through their art, JAE.CI transforms personal pain into a universal message of empowerment. Having witnessed the pervasive silencing effects of power dynamics, Jae has dedicated their life to amplifying marginalized voices, fostering the development of authentic expression and the joyful reclamation of one’s own narrative. This journey from classically trained musician to CCM crossover artist embodies a powerful duality, challenging expectations and embracing the full spectrum of human experience.
JAE.CI’s music bravely navigates the contrasting poles of existence, from the dizzying heights of visceral euphoria to the desolate depths of anguish. Drawing upon the duality of cultural identity as a Korean adoptee, Jae confronts the inherent conflicts and silences imposed by the dominant “white savior complex” narrative. This debut single serves as a powerful prelude to an upcoming EP and a crossover genre performance project, both dedicated to amplifying adoptee voices and exploring the seven core issues of adoption with raw vulnerability.
Furthermore, JAE.CI brings a unique perspective shaped by living with Histrionic Personality Disorder, fearlessly leading audiences to the saturated extremes of human emotion. By sharing these personal experiences, Jae dismantles stigma and fosters connection, demonstrating the shared humanity that transcends diagnostic labels. The exploration of secular themes through the lens of a sacred liturgical music director further enriches JAE.CI’s songwriting, uncovering spiritual truths in unexpected places.
Adding another layer of artistic depth, JAE.CI is influenced by grapheme-color synesthesia, a neurological phenomenon that imbues their musical creations with a unique harmonic color palette. This sensory interplay promises a listening experience that is not only emotionally resonant but also viscerally vibrant.
With “American Doll,” JAE.CI doesn’t just release a song; they issue a powerful statement. It’s an invitation to confront uncomfortable truths, to empathize with marginalized experiences, and to ultimately celebrate the resilience of the human spirit. Prepare to be moved, challenged, and ultimately inspired by the unflinching artistry of JAE.CI – a voice that demands to be heard.
